


Heaven's Prisoner

by thekingslover



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Future Canon!verse?, M/M, break up cw, fallen!cas, pining!dean, sad!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 10:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2618807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekingslover/pseuds/thekingslover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Cas left, okay?” Dean says. Tears threaten, and though he tries to hold back his emotion, he can’t keep his voice from cracking as he says, “Cas left me.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heaven's Prisoner

Ever since Cas left for Heaven, Dean’s felt hollow. Around Sam and Amelia, Dean puts on the bright front. Make a joke here, laugh extra hard there. Until one morning when Sam corners him once in the kitchen with one of his classic bitch faces.

"You haven’t talked about it," Sam says. "You should talk about it."

Dean shakes his head, makes a joke. But all remnants of a smile vanish the minute Sam puts a hand on Dean’s shoulder and says, “ _Dean_.”

"Forget it. I’m fine."

"You’re fine, huh?" Sam says. "Have you even gone back into your bedroom, or are you still sleeping on the couch?"

"Shut it, Sam," Dean says. He looks up at the ceiling, counting the tiles so he can think of something other than how alone his house feels without his angel in it. "I’m going to sell soon. It won’t matter then. It’s fine."

“ _Jesus_ , Dean. You aren’t fine.”

Dean shrugs off Sam’s hand and turns on him, anger flaring. “What do you want me to say, Sam? Huh? That I’m a fucking wreck since he left? Would it make you happy to hear it?” Dean laughs, bitterly. “Fine. I’m fucked. Royally fucked. I let myself believe I could have it all and it was ripped away. I should have known better. I shouldn’t have fallen for a damned angel.” He shakes his head. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Sam stares at him for a moment and Dean hates the pity he sees in his brother’s eyes. “It’s not your fault.”

"Bullshit."

"If Cas -"

"Cas _left_ , okay?” Dean says. Tears threaten, and though he tries to hold back his emotion, he can’t keep his voice from cracking as he says, “Cas left _me_.”

Sam gets that wounded puppy look and Dean reels it all back in before the big lug can bring it in for a hug.

"But I’m cool," Dean says. "I got this."

"You should stay here," Sam says. "Amelia won’t mind."

"I’m not gonna step in on your honeymoon."

"Dean, we’ve been married for two years."

"Yeah, well," Dean says. "Thanks but no thanks." As much as he loves his brother, Dean can’t stand the thought of being around another couple right now. "I’m fine."

“ _Dean_.”

"I’ll _be_ fine,” Dean says and walks away. Sam lets him go without further need for feelings, and when Dean’s two week visit is over, he gets in his car and drives back to the small house he and Cas picked out years ago when… When Dean wanted to settle down.

Cas had liked the blue trim and wide porch. He sat on the porch swing every night. Dean would bring him a beer and they’d make out a bit. At first the neighbors had stared, but they got used to it.

Now the porch swing sits unused. Dean hasn’t touched it since Cas left thirteen months ago.

He parks his car in the driveway, walks up the porch steps, unlocks the door, and steps inside. He closes the door behind him and locks it.

Alone, safe, Dean breaks down. He twists the ring on his finger, the silver band that reads _Forever your angel, Cas,_ on the inside. He knows he should have taken it off, especially after he found the note in Cas’s handwriting on their dining room table that read, _They need me in Heaven._

Dean swallows down the bile that rises at the memory. “You son of a bitch,” he says against the door. “You _stupid_ son of a bitch!”

He’d handled it well back then - nodded, died a little inside, but held it together. Went on with his day, his life. He left the note there for three months before Sam came to visit and found it. Sam hadn’t even known Cas was gone.

But now? After over a year of suppressing the anger and _hurt_ at being left behind _again_ by the man he loves, Dean can’t handle it. He explodes. He rips a lamp from the wall - a lamp Cas picked out at the antique store he made Dean stop at on their roadtrip honeymoon - and flings it hard across the room. It hits the wall and shatters.

Dean doesn’t feel any better.

"I hate you!" he shouts lies. "I hate you so damned much." He reaches for the lamp’s matching pair and smashes it too. Then he flips the end table. "You think I don’t need you?!" And kicks it across the room. "Fuck you!"

He can’t stop the tears now, doesn’t try.

He punches a hole in the wall, breaking fingers. “Fuck this house,” he says. “Fuck you and fuck this house.”

He storms up the stairs, ready to pack up a picture of his mom and a view valuables and then just drive off until this place is nothing but a reflection in the rear view mirror. He gets to the second floor and throws open the door to their bedroom - and there’s Cas, standing beside the bed in his old angel getup, suit and overcoat. In his hands, he holds a picture of them that they had always kept beside the bed. He looks up when Dean comes in and Dean tries not to notice the tears welled in those blue eyes he’s dreamed about every night for thirteen months.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Dean growls. He’s frozen in the doorway, unable to move forward, unwilling to move back.

"Dean," Cas says, brokenly, and Dean closes his eyes because he’s been dying to hear his name whispered in that deep voice for so damned long. But he doesn’t want to fall back under Cas’s spell. He wants to stay angry. But the anger flutters out of him like air from a popped balloon and all that’s left is anguish.

"Get out," he says, but doesn’t mean the words as much as he wants to. He wants Cas here. That’s all he ever wanted. " _Please_.”

"I tried to come back," Cas says.

"Stop it."

"They wouldn’t let me leave."

Cas takes a few steps forward and Dean trips as he backs out into the hall.

"Don’t do this to me," Dean says. He chances a look at Cas’s eyes and sees hurt and confusion there. No. No, that’s what Dean gets to feel, not him. "You left _._ ”

"For _the day_ ,” Cas says, eyes wide. A tear falls from one. “They tricked me. They trapped me there. Dean, I couldn’t get away.”

Dean shakes his head, because _no_. Cas left him. It couldn’t have been any other way. “You _left_. You promised you wouldn’t, and you _did._ ”

"Not on purpose," Cas says, voice shaky. He reaches for Dean’s arm, and Dean, channeling months of anger and hurt and frustration and broken promises, punches him across the face with his non-broken hand.

Cas falls to the ground, and Dean stares. Cas is an angel. He shouldn’t fall. He shouldn’t _bruise_. But there is a mark there now on his cheek, blooming red.

Dean falls to his knees beside his angel and husband and leans close to inspect the bruise. Cas lets him, unmoving from where he sits on the floor. Dean brushes his fingers over the mark, gently touching Cas’s cheek.

Cas’s eyes close and shoulders relax. “I’ve missed your touch,” he says.

"Cas," Dean breathes. "What did you do?"

Cas leans his face into the hand that now cups his cheek fully. “They wouldn’t let me leave,” he says. Dean’s heart thunders in his chest. “So I fell.”

The world stands still. “You…” Dean starts, swallows, and tries again. “You’re human again?”

"Yes," Cas answers. "Permanently, this time."

"Cas -"

"I can grow old with you now," Cas says. "If… If you’ll still have me."

"You stupid son of a bitch," Dean says again, though without any malice now. Instead, he speaks with nothing but fondness. He reaches out and pulls Cas into his arms. Cas is warm and pliable - so very human. He curls up in Dean’s embrace and peppers kisses all over Dean’s face and neck. Dean tries his best to return them, most of his kisses falling into Cas’s wild hair. "I would have looked for you," Dean says. "I thought… _Jesus_ , I thought -“

"It doesn’t matter now," Cas says. "I’m here. I’m here and I’m not leaving."

Dean takes Cas’s left hand in his and feels until he finds the band of silver there on Cas’s ring finger, that on the inside reads _Forever yours, Dean._


End file.
